Getting married during medical residency is a big decision, and not one with a universal answer. If you’re in a committed relationship, you and your partner may be considering whether it’s the right time to take the next step.
Medical residency brings intense demands, unpredictable schedules, and financial challenges — all of which can impact your plans for marriage. Should you postpone it? Can you make it work? In this blog, we’ll explore the reasons some residents choose to wait, how others manage to plan a wedding during residency, and how to build a strong foundation for your future together.
Plenty of residents are in committed relationships, and many make them work. But marriage adds another layer. Talk to ten people, and you’ll hear ten different opinions about whether getting married during residency is a good idea.
It’s not just a deeper emotional bond; it comes with legal, financial, and logistical responsibilities that can be tough to manage alongside the demands of residency. Some residents feel the support they gain from formalizing the relationship outweighs the added pressures, and for some, that’s absolutely true.
For others, putting off marriage until after residency delays the added responsibilities during an already challenging period. For those who advocate postponement, here are the most common reasons:
Residency is one of the most intense and defining chapters of your professional life. The learning curve is steep, the responsibilities are significant, and your time is limited.
Many residents choose to delay major life decisions, such as marriage, to give their full attention to their training without added pressures. Marriage can bring joy, but it also requires intentional time and energy, two things that are already in short supply during this stage of their careers.
With long shifts, weekend calls, and unpredictable hours, residency can leave little room for anything else. While relationships can thrive with support and communication, the early years of marriage often need time and energy, two things that may already be stretched thin during this stage of your training.
Residency isn’t just physically exhausting; it can take a serious emotional toll as well. Chronic stress, sleep deprivation, and burnout can affect your well-being and your ability to be fully present in a partnership. Postponing marriage until you’re in a more stable place can help protect both your mental health and your relationship.
Many residents are still managing student loan debt while earning modest salaries. Wedding costs and the financial expectations of married life, from housing to future planning, can be overwhelming. Waiting until after residency may give you more financial flexibility and reduce strain during the early years of your marriage.
Missing weddings during residency happens more often than we like to talk about. With your friends pursuing residencies across the country, it’s hard to get everyone together at the same time.
Even finding time to plan your own wedding between demanding rotations, exams, and limited PTO can feel impossible. For many residents, it's simply more practical to wait until they have the bandwidth to enjoy the planning process and the celebration itself.
There will be challenges to planning a wedding during the demanding years of residency, but it can be done. At every step, keep three things in mind: prioritization, delegation, and communication.
Be flexible. Decide what matters the most to you. Prioritize those things and be flexible on the rest. Planning a small, intimate wedding may be more doable than an extravagant affair. Flexibility will also help you manage a realistic budget, be willing to sacrifice some things, or embrace DIY options.
Recruit friends and family members. You and your fiancé(e) don’t need to go it alone. Ask for help, maybe even a primary planner who can direct other helpers to complete checklist items.
Talk, talk, talk. Keep open lines of communication with your fiancé, your wedding party, and other key people.
Whether or not you combine your medical residency and marriage, open and honest communication with your partner is vital. It’s key to navigating the challenges of residency, the joys of your life together, and how you plan together for the future.
Both residency and being in a committed relationship are indicators that it’s time to discuss your financial future, professionally and personally. Set aside some time to sit down with your partner and discuss these questions:
Timing is everything. At Treloar & Heisel, we’ve worked with thousands of medical and dental professionals; in fact, that’s all we do.
Our goal is to help you achieve your goals, and we do it by helping you build a strong financial and insurance foundation while you’re in residency and adapt it as you progress through your career to retirement.
Take charge of today and the future; discover the insurance and financial solutions you may need during and after your residency.
About Treloar & Heisel
Treloar & Heisel, an EPIC Company, is a premier financial services provider to dental and medical professionals across the country. We assist thousands of clients from residency to practice and through retirement with a comprehensive suite of financial services, custom-tailored advice, and a strong national network focused on delivering the highest level of service.
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